Humans are scary.

Sometimes I just wonder, when you care about someone's feeling, you think about the words before you say it so that it wouldn't hurt the other party. But what about the person you cared for? Do they really take your feelings into account? Its scary how they have already took you for granted, insulting you in anyway to make themselves feel better or more inferior. Be it insulting jokingly or seriously, there is always a limit to everything. For example, you saw your friend having bad mood for what-so-ever reason, of course as a friend you will try to cheer him / her up or try to protect them off from any unnecessary insults / comments. So you tried to brush off the comments or just take the insult from them so that they won't feel hurt. But what happens? That friend you are trying to protect, end up adding more fuel into the insult to make him / herself feel better? Lol. Is this right? Not everyone are happy everyday, everyone have their bad days once in awhile. Just because I didn't rant, it doesn't mean that life is going all so well for me.

Another thing is helping your friends when they are in need. Of course, helping is no problem. I don't expect anyone of you to thank me for the help too. But the least you could do is to appreciate the help given. I'm not obligated to help you, I help you out of a choice. Why the hate when I couldn't help?
I do have my own things to do too. And I'm not smart or an elite in any way. When you ask for help, sometimes i do need time to think about how to do it too. I dare say that I always try doing whatever request thats ask of me even when I'm busy or tired. But do these friends really appreciate it? Sometimes when you help people too much, I guess they will just take you for granted. To be honest, I dun mind helping people cause I felt happy when I'm able to help them. But when I'm not able to help on the spot or need some time, they say that you are selfish, grumpy, etc. Is this fair for me? What have I done to deserve this kind of treatment? Am I paid to help you guys? Just because i don't report or whine about every single little thing I'm doing, it doesn't mean that I'm always free. Why would you guys expect me to be there 24/7 at your beck and call? How about when I need help? Not that I've ever ask for one, but maybe a listening ear? No one cares. Everyone expect you to be there 24/7 but when you really need someone just for a moment, who is there for you? They expect you to reply their messages instantly but how about them? They deny the fact that they reply late and insist its your fault? Its getting tired for me to talk to anyone of you.

Why didn't I try talking to you guys about all these? Do you ever think I didn't try voicing out? I did. But no one ever thinks they are at any fault. All I get is just you are too sensitive, grumpy, you pms?, you didn't have enough sleep?, etc etc. All sorts of reasons stating that the problem lies with me and not them. So what is the point of telling people who will never feel they are at fault? Probably I'm the one at fault. Because whenever you guys ask for help, I didn't say no even when I have other stuffs on hand. So if anyone of you happens to chance upon this post, don't even bother trying to ask me if its you or not or what happened. Because I have already come to a conclusion that you will never understand, thats why i decided to rant it off over here instead. Don't bother trying to tell me anything because words do hurts. Too much built up frustrations. I'm really tired. I need a break. And I don't want to talk to anyone.